
John Lee is a pioneer in the fields of self-help, anger management, co-dependency, emotional regression, recovery, emotional intelligence, relationships, and men’s issues. His highly innovative work in these fields has made him an in-demand consultant, teacher, trainer, life coach, and speaker. His contributions in these fields have put him in the national spotlight for over 35 years.
John has been featured on Oprah, 20/20, Barbara Walter’s The View, CNN, PBS, and NPR. He has been interviewed by Newsweek, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, and dozens of other national and international magazines and radio talk shows.
After 35 years of touring nationally and internationally, bestselling author, John Lee, is now back in Austin, Texas where he offers video and in-person sessions that include the traditional 50-minute and intensive counseling sessions lasting one or two days. You can schedule yours today and continue your own journey of growth, healing, and personal development.
With a variety of services to choose from, we’re sure you’ll be happy working with John. Look around our site and if you have any comments or questions, please feel free to contact us. We hope to see you!
Private Sessions

Offering multiple services to meet your needs including conferences and speaking engagements.
Blog Posts

- March 23, 2022
- in caretaking, Relationships
"Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” Novelist Eleanor Brown There is a chasm, a great…
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- January 15, 2022
- in philosophy
An excerpt from my new book Odd One Out: Radical Revelations on Relationships, Self-Help, and Personal Growth published by Teitelbaum…
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Excerpt from Odd One Out published by Teitelbaum Publishing "...You’re a thief!" the judge said “Let’s see your hands!" I…
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- December 5, 2021
- in masculinity, Relationships
If you received shame, or an injury like a whipping or beating, or an icy cold, unresponsive stare from a…
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- November 24, 2021
- in Fathers, masculinity
...So I am proud only of those days that we pass in undivided tenderness,when you sit drawing, or making books,…
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- November 12, 2021
- in fathers and sons, masculinity
"On my father's wedding day no one was there to hold him. Noble loneliness held him." Robert Bly At a…
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- November 10, 2021
- in fathers and sons, men's issues
It took me a long time to repair the father-son wound. Lots of grief had to be dipped out of…
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- October 3, 2021
- in Relationships, Self-care
“People who,” please people are the unluckiest people in the world, to bastardize a lovely song by Barbara Streisand from…
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- June 3, 2021
- in Relationships, Southern humor
Here’s an excerpt from my first award-winning novel penned under the pseudonym, Richard Dixie Hartwell, now available as an audio…
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- January 23, 2021
- in Psychology, Relationships
“…the wind left. And I wept. And I said to myself: what have you done with the garden that was…
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- November 20, 2020
- in Relationships
“…all spoke the same language. That was the time when words were like magic…” Inuit If you are not my…
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- October 23, 2020
- in Emotional Intelligence, Psychology
“…Tell me about your despair, And I’ll tell you about mine…” Mary Oliver While nothing much is as black and…
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- August 2, 2020
- in Coronavirus, loneliness
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” African Proverb A few…
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- June 27, 2020
- in Uncategorized
"Friend, hope for the Guest while you are alive. Jump into experience while you are alive! Think… and think… while…
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- May 8, 2020
- in melancholy
“Besides my numerous circle of acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant – my melancholy… My melancholy is the most…
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“Guilt is a teacher, love is the lesson.” Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. Guilt is not a feeling. Guilt is a judgement…
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- March 26, 2020
- in Coronavirus, Silence
“We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us that they may see, it may…
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“Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge.” Edward Bulwer-Lytton Have you ever loved an alcoholic or…
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- February 21, 2020
- in anima, patriarchal mentality, Relationships
“It still hasn’t occurred to Western man to stop looking on woman as a symbol of something and to begin…
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- January 30, 2020
- in Creative Change Conferences, Relationships
I was forty-something and still longing to be loved the way I needed to be. She had the same longing.…
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- January 19, 2020
- in conferences, Events, Relationships
Last night as I was sleeping, I dreamt—marvelous error!— that I had a beehive here inside my heart. And the…
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- November 16, 2019
- in Creativity
Yet if I were asked to name the most important items in a writer’s makeup, the things that shape his…
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- October 29, 2019
- in anxiety, fear, Psychology
“If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety…
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- October 17, 2019
- in Depression, Despair, loneliness
“Despair is a haven with its own temporary form of beauty…” David Whyte Several years ago, I gave a brief…
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- October 10, 2019
- in addiction, Care-giving, Care-taking
"...teach us to care, and not to care and to be still..." ~ T.S. Eliot Last week I was honored…
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- September 26, 2019
- in Surrendering
“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” ~…
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- September 5, 2019
- in Recovery, Relationships, The Flying Boy Letters
This is a most unique and comprehensive book, which is a culmination of thousands of hours of teaching, counseling, key noting…
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- September 1, 2019
- in philosophy, spirituality, Uncategorized
Animals are nothing but the forms of our virtues and vices, wandering before our eyes, the visible phantoms of our…
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- August 31, 2019
- in Conflict, Relationships, Uncategorized
"In fact, the conflict itself is creative and perhaps should never be healed." ~ Thomas Moore Very often men seek…
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- August 30, 2019
- in inner strength, men's issues, Perfection, Uncategorized
Baseball … teaches that errors are part of the game. ~ Ernest Kurtz Some of us, long ago, learned that…
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- August 29, 2019
- in men's issues, Recovery, Relationships
If you tell the truth, you have infinite power supporting you; but if not, you have infinite power against you.…
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- August 28, 2019
- in men's issues, Recovery, Self-Esteem
“A man falling in his own esteem needs more ground under his feet; to stand again he may need the…
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- August 27, 2019
- in meditation, men's issues, Therapy
Though much is taken, much abides; … that which we are, we are, One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made…
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- August 26, 2019
- in meditation, Recovery, spirituality
“We have conquered the environment, and in our obsession for control, we no longer allow the environment to live in…
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- August 25, 2019
- in Dreams, meditation, men's issues
Imagination is more important than knowledge. ~ Albert Einstein If we believe that our dream life is at least as…
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- August 24, 2019
- in meditation, men's issues, Patience
Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. ~ Hal Borland Men learned how…
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- August 23, 2019
- in Empowerment, meditation, men's issues
The power of a man … is his present means to obtain some future apparent good. ~ Thomas Hobbes Many…
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- August 22, 2019
- in meditation, men's issues, philosophy, spirituality
Ring out the false, ring in the true. ~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson As boys we learned that we had to…
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- August 21, 2019
- in meditation, men's issues, Recovery, spirituality
For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all tasks, and the ultimate, the…
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- August 20, 2019
- in meditation, responsibilities
In the woods is perpetual youth. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Because our society is so youth-oriented, many men want to…
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- August 19, 2019
- in innner peace, Relationships
If there is to be any peace it will come through being, not having. ~ Henry Miller As boys, many…
Read More- August 19, 2019
- in philosophy, Relationships
The voice at the center speaks in tongues of flame … The child in man hears his fire rise. ~…
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- August 17, 2019
- in nature's language, philosophy, spirituality
Nature is one of the languages God speaks. ~ Robert Bly Many men have dabbled in, even mastered, languages. We…
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- August 16, 2019
- in Relationships, Respect, Uncategorized
Our capacity for intimacy is built on deep respect, a presence that allows what is true to express itself, to…
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- August 15, 2019
- in Honesty, meditation, true work
Blessed is who has found his work; let him ask no other blessedness. ~ Thomas Carlyle The work we do…
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- August 14, 2019
- in meditation, philosophy
Speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee. ~ Job 12:8 So many men have been brainwashed into believing that…
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- August 14, 2019
- in Recovery, Relationships
"A thoughtful book like this encourages contemplation, rather than hyperactivity, and, oddly, we need good words in order to find…
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- August 9, 2019
- in Regression, Uncategorized
"Where have all the grownups gone?" ~ Robert Bly, The Sibling Society Emotional regression is a person and social unconscious…
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- July 26, 2019
- in homophobia, Racism, xenophobia
Q. How are we supposed to treat others? A. There are no others. ~ Ramana Maharshi My eyes bleed to see…
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- July 11, 2019
- in Brutal honesty
“Are you proud of yourself tonight that you have insulted a total stranger whose circumstances you know nothing about?” ~ Atticus…
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- June 20, 2019
- in Relationships
Entrain: “To draw along with or after oneself.” ~ Merriam-Webster Entrainment is syncing our rhythms with someone else’s. Women who…
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- May 16, 2019
- in Care-giving, Care-taking
"He was so angry at me you would have thought I had tried to help him." Harry Stack Sullivan, M.D. Look,…
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Yesterday during an intensive session with a client, he said, “Why did she leave me? Why didn’t I see the…
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- April 14, 2019
- in Relationships
The rule for men and women’s communication before, say Adam and Eve, was to not talk much about anything. Adam never…
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- March 30, 2019
- in living and dying, Relationships
"It ain't dying' I'm talking about, it's living..." Gus in Lonesome Dove Hold on, there’s a good and true ending.…
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- February 21, 2019
- in masculinity, Men's Movement
Masculinity means so many different things depending on who you ask. In 1991 there was a meeting set up by…
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- February 7, 2019
- in Aging, retirement, staying relevant
Scene 1 I’m an aging man sitting with his three dogs in a rented house way out of my price…
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- January 25, 2019
- in Recovery, Relationships
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves. C.G. Jung “Mend his life.” “You…
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- December 28, 2018
- in Acceptance, Relationships
“When we lose someone and we find ourselves, we win.” Anonymous One of my best, dearest friends I'll call K…
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- November 21, 2018
- in Closure, Relationships
If you’re going home for the holidays, trying to recover from a divorce, a break-up or really any transition, change…
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- November 8, 2018
- in Men helping men, Relationships
As Part II to my previous post, "Isn't It Touching," I thought touch-starved men might be interested in considering the…
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- November 1, 2018
- in Healing Touch, male bonding
Most men are touch starved, touch phobic or sexualize a tender touch. Many men have never availed themselves to a…
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- October 19, 2018
- in Abandonment
“Adults can’t be abandoned,” I said in a clinical conference with 500 or more persons in the audience. They were…
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- October 3, 2018
- in addiction, masculinity, Relationships
The following is taken from my first best-selling book, The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man. I thought it was…
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- September 10, 2018
- in Acceptance, Poetry
Book Release Celebration and Reading at Malvern Books - Friday Oct 5 at 7 pm John Lee will be celebrating…
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- August 9, 2018
- in Men and crying, Men's Movement
Dear Mr. Lee, I’m sitting on a rock beside a small stream in the Memphis Botanical Gardens as I write…
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These are excerpts from my forthcoming book. They encapsulate my work with clients, workshop participants and key-notes. Hope you find…
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Letter 21 St. Louis, MO Dear John, I need to thank you for your book, “The Flying Boy.” I am…
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- June 16, 2018
- in Uncategorized
“…Loneliness can be a prison, a place from which we look out at a world we cannot inhabit…" Poet David…
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- April 30, 2018
- in Relationships
In this unusual blog post I am sending out samplings of my new soon-to-be eBook. I am very interested in…
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- December 28, 2017
- in holiday depression
There’s something about that season from Thanksgiving to New Year’s that will bring out the adult children’s worst fears and…
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- November 20, 2017
- in Acceptance, Unbecoming
The young person’s task is to primarily emancipate from his or her original family. I have a chapter in my…
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- October 28, 2017
- in Emotional Intelligence, Relationships
Separation vs Isolation Emotionally intelligent people engage in separation instead of isolation. By age two children begin the process of…
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- October 22, 2017
- in Emotional Intelligence
Feelings Are As Important As Facts First things first—A feeling is a fact at the moment a person is experiencing…
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A Poem by John Lee As I crawled through the tall grass of grief I saw so many interesting and…
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- September 19, 2017
- in Ministry, Religion, Southern humor
The University of North Alabama, formerly Florence State College, formerly Florence State Teacher’s College, spread out before me waiting to…
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A Poem by John Lee previously published in The Dragon's Letters Geese know the ancient path their parents laid…
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Excerpt from Life is a Funny Old Dog I worked in my dad's machine shop after school and on Saturdays…
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- September 2, 2017
- in Southern humor
Now for a totally different kind of blog post in a more personal story/memoir format. Part of the reason I'm…
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- July 22, 2017
- in Behavior Modification
I needed the money to supplement the poverty wages I was making as a teaching assistant while working on my…
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- June 6, 2017
- in Relationships
from The Flying Boy Letters: Responses and Replies 30 Years Later Letter # 31 June 29, 1990 White Bear Lake, Minnesota…
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- February 8, 2017
- in Relationships
This an excerpt from my forthcoming book written with Kat Hrdina. …I think that an addiction to a person is…
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- January 27, 2017
- in Boundaries, Relationships
"We must let go of the life we planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us."…
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- January 13, 2017
- in Discipline, Punishment
Anger as Punishment and Revenge Alcoholics, addicts, and adult children of alcoholics don’t get angry – they get even. One…
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This is the time of year when a lot of grief may rise to the surface, and a season that should not…
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- October 14, 2016
- in Anger, Relationships
Jenny and her husband George both said, “we never fight,” like it was a good thing. We explored further why…
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- September 12, 2016
- in Depression, Passivity
Sadness that does not abate The passive person is often sad in part because they do not actively grieve their…
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- August 28, 2016
- in Minnesota Men's Conference
The Minnesota Men's Conference is near and dear to my heart, and this link will take you to an exciting…
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- August 25, 2016
- in Southern humor
An Excerpt from the Introduction of a Memoir in Progress In Alabama, if you meet someone you know you say,…
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- August 22, 2016
- in 2-day Intensive Therapy Sessions, therapy sessions
I’m pleased to announce that after a break from offering my 2-day Intensives in Austin, Texas, I am now making…
Read More- August 19, 2016
- in Difference between Anger and Rage
A woman called me the other day for help. When I asked her what the problem was, she didn’t hesitate.…
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- August 3, 2016
- in Boundaries, Happiness, Relationships
WE HAVE TO WATCH OUT WHERE WE'RE GOING: Boundary Errors and Boundary Violations First, a boundary is “This is how…
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- July 14, 2016
- in Depression, Despair, Hope, Joy, Passivity, Relationships, spirituality
Identifying Passivity Passivity is a compulsion or learned tendency to live at half-speed regarding certain segments of their life. Almost…
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- July 14, 2016
- in Despair, Happiness, Passivity, Relationships
Solving the Problem of Passivity Passivity is the compulsion to pursue the opposite of what we say we want. This…
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- June 17, 2016
- in Faith, spirituality
Read Part 1-4 first “I keep pursuing Faith, if for no other reason than because it is the place in…
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“…I don’t mind you saying I’ll die soon, even in the sound of the word soon I hear the word,…
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“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate,…
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- June 17, 2016
- in Depression, Despair
“It may be when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work and when…
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- May 12, 2016
- in Depression, Despair, Hope, loneliness
“Despair takes us in when we have nowhere else to go; when we feel the heart cannot break anymore, when…
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