Where There’s Roles: Maybe Rage

The two things every human being needs and wants is to be seen and heard. This is very difficult, indeed, almost impossible if you and I are still letting our roles define who we are, and this is especially true for most people at mid-life and beyond. Most roles are assigned or acquired during childhood or early […]

Eros and Thanatos: Passion and Death

“Friend, hope for the Guest while you are alive. Jump into experience while you are alive! Think… and think… while you are alive.” Kabir translated by Robert Bly Most of my adult life, both professionally and personally, has been devoted to a pursuit of Eros, which means “life instinct,” passion, purpose, and positivity. Eros is […]

The Language of Animals

Animals are nothing but the forms of our virtues and vices, wandering before our eyes, the visible phantoms of our souls. ~ Victor Hugo Men used to listen attentively to the messages of the animals; our lives, our souls, depended on it. The appearances and absences of certain animals at certain times were full of […]

Conflict

“In fact, the conflict itself is creative and perhaps should never be healed.” ~ Thomas Moore Very often men seek to remove conflict. At times that’s the best move to make. But hoping for an end to all conflict is unrealistic. Conflict is natural; it’s part of living in community rather than isolation. When conflict […]

The Perfection of Imperfection

Baseball … teaches that errors are part of the game. ~ Ernest Kurtz Some of us, long ago, learned that anything less than perfection was failure. We learned this in our families, at school, from coaches. Some of us had “four A, one B” parents: we handed them our report card, they looked silently at […]

Deep Respect

Our capacity for intimacy is built on deep respect, a presence that allows what is true to express itself, to be discovered. ~ Jack Kornfield Respect can connect humans at the deepest level. Love that is based on respect – rather than need or longing – is more enduring. Such respect can tolerate great differences. […]

Regression: The Damage

“Where have all the grownups gone?” ~ Robert Bly, The Sibling Society Emotional regression is a person and social unconscious return to our history when our buttons are pushed, or we get triggered and we react instead of respond. Regression gives us the sense that we are small, or little and not the powerful adults […]

THE LONELINESS EMERGENCY: From Isolation to Connection

“…Loneliness can be a prison, a place from which we look out at a world we cannot inhabit…” Poet David Whyte Some people are on the mountain of loneliness—rock stars, chefs and business tycoons. Some, who we will never know their names, are in despair, depression, and stuck, barely able to walk or stand. Sadly, […]