The two things every human being needs and wants is to be seen and heard. This is very difficult, indeed, almost impossible if you and I are still letting our roles define who we are, and this is especially true for most people at mid-life and beyond. Most roles are assigned or acquired during childhood or early […]
Enhancing Emotional Intelligence – Part II
Separation vs Isolation Emotionally intelligent people engage in separation instead of isolation. By age two children begin the process of separating from their parents. By age twelve they are fully engaged in the process; unless the parents did not experience healthy separation from their parents, in which case they will tend to cling and limit […]
The Flying Boy Letters: Responses and Replies 30 Years Later
This an excerpt from my forthcoming book written with Kat Hrdina. …I think that an addiction to a person is much worse than an addiction to a drug. My relationship with this man was like a roller coaster ride all the time. We would get close emotionally, so I thought, only to be dumped then […]
And now for a break from psychology and into the realm of fairy tales
“We must let go of the life we planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell …The King then decided to find his ugly snake son a bride and get him married so his golden haired son could get married and inherit the kingdom. So he looked all around […]
Fair Fighting: 7 Steps
Jenny and her husband George both said, “we never fight,” like it was a good thing. We explored further why they didn’t fight and found out that they didn’t really know how to fight fair, so they all but gave themselves an emotional hernia trying not to. However, what they did do on the rare […]
Announcement – I will be offering 2-Day Intensive Sessions in Austin, Texas beginning September 1, 2016
I’m pleased to announce that after a break from offering my 2-day Intensives in Austin, Texas, I am now making those available again starting September 1, 2016 at the Austin Men’s Center, thanks to Director Bill Bruzy. As most of you know Austin is not only charming and beautiful, it is a convenient location for […]
HOW to Tell the Difference Between Anger and Rage
A woman called me the other day for help. When I asked her what the problem was, she didn’t hesitate. “I am living with the angriest man in the world.” I said, “Tell me how he expresses his anger?” After four or five descriptive sentences I said, “I hate to interrupt, but everything you’ve said […]
Boundaries
WE HAVE TO WATCH OUT WHERE WE’RE GOING: Boundary Errors and Boundary Violations First, a boundary is “This is how close you can come to me:” physically, spiritually, in conversations about love or money, etc. A “boundary error” is when someone, whether friend or foe, has crossed over into my space, my yard, my soul, […]