A good friend of many years asked me the other day, “John what are you working on these days?” “I’m working on aging these days; good work if you can get it and keep it; pay is not that great but better than the alternative.” I must admit I’m still sort of tempted to try […]
Grief: Intentionally Speaking
Grief is the proper response to all losses, changes, and transitions
A Little Note on Happiness and Joy: The Differences
Excerpt from Odd One Out published by Teitelbaum Publishing “…You’re a thief!” the judge said “Let’s see your hands!” I showed him my callous hands in court. My sentence was a thousand years of joy. Robert Bly Happiness is pursued, while joy is received. All these elegant trees on my property stand waiting for the […]
Reclaiming Our True Masculinity – The Father In A Hurry
…So I am proud only of those days that we pass in undivided tenderness, when you sit drawing, or making books, stapled with messages to the world… or coloring a man with fire coming out of his hair Or we sit at a table, with small tea carefully poured; so we pass our time together, […]
The Lost Father – Our Deepest Wound
It took me a long time to repair the father-son wound. Lots of grief had to be dipped out of my body; some anger had to be put into overstuffed pillows, punching bags, and a little shouting into the ether. And sure enough, the healing began thanks to mentors, therapists, healers, and friends. So, since […]
I LOST MYSELF
“…the wind left. And I wept. And I said to myself: what have you done with the garden that was entrusted to you?” Antonio Machado Most people never really know the date, time, or place that we let ourselves slip out of sight. I know when I got my genetically pre-dispositioned heart attack several years […]
Eros and Thanatos: Passion and Death
“Friend, hope for the Guest while you are alive. Jump into experience while you are alive! Think… and think… while you are alive.” Kabir translated by Robert Bly Most of my adult life, both professionally and personally, has been devoted to a pursuit of Eros, which means “life instinct,” passion, purpose, and positivity. Eros is […]
INSANE FOR THE LIGHT
“We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us that they may see, it may be, their own images, and so live for a moment with a clearer, perhaps even with a fiercer life because of our quiet.” Robert Bly I’ve always wanted more quiet in my house as a […]
A Wordless Language
Nature is one of the languages God speaks. ~ Robert Bly Many men have dabbled in, even mastered, languages. We speak fluent English, manage German “ein bischen,” use a peso’s worth of Spanish, murmur French when we feel amorous. We understand well the language of commerce, of industry. We’re plainspoken about stocks and bonds. We […]
Regression: The Damage
“Where have all the grownups gone?” ~ Robert Bly, The Sibling Society Emotional regression is a person and social unconscious return to our history when our buttons are pushed, or we get triggered and we react instead of respond. Regression gives us the sense that we are small, or little and not the powerful adults […]
Finding Your Rhythms: When to be Close and When to Separate
Entrainment is syncing our rhythms with someone else’s.
Every Time You Say “YOU,” You Will Pay!
The rule for men and women’s communication before, say Adam and Eve, was to not talk much about anything. Adam never told Eve how he felt about the apple thing. Then there was a huge communication advance somewhere around the 80’s – “When you say or do, I feel…,” and then you would fill in the […]
Masculinity
Masculinity means so many different things depending on who you ask. In 1991 there was a meeting set up by Warren Farrell, one of the earliest pioneers in men’s issues, at his mountain retreat in California. A dozen or so of us so-called leaders of the Men’s Movement were invited to come and share our […]
Excerpt from best-selling book The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man
The following is taken from my first best-selling book, The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man. I thought it was timely to share this since I will be keynoting at two men’s events this month: Oct 19-21 The Bubba-Buddha Men’s Empowerment Weekend for Mentor*Discover*Inspire Organization (MDI) ~ LaFayette GA Oct 26-27 What Does Healthy Masculinity […]
Letter # 40 – Sitting on a Rock by a Small Stream
Dear Mr. Lee, I’m sitting on a rock beside a small stream in the Memphis Botanical Gardens as I write this letter to you. My name is Thomas and I am a 25-year-old graduate student who knows where you have been. I can and do identify with everything you have written in The Flying Boy. […]
2016 Minnesota Men’s Conference
The Minnesota Men’s Conference is near and dear to my heart, and this link will take you to an exciting and worthwhile opportunity to help others. I hope you will consider giving back to this cause. Please click here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/2016-minnesota-men-s-conference-poetry#/