The False Self

Ring out the false, ring in the true.

~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson

As boys we learned that we had to find out who others wanted us to be. Then we were taught we had to become that person in order to get acceptance, appreciation, and love – things we should have gotten just for being ourselves.

We developed the habit of creating a “false self.” This Self became so convincing that at times even we believed it was real. Afraid to be who we really were, to feel what we felt, to say what we needed to say, and to do what we thought was right, we created a drama and playacted our way through our lives. Our performance, however, was sometimes a painful tragedy that the ones who really loved us could hardly bear to watch.

Now we’re ready to bring the play to its end, and let our authentic life begin. We’re discovering, ever so slowly, that there are people in the world who will embrace our true Self – as long as we’re willing to show it.

Today I give up the drama I created to survive. I trust that I don’t have to play two-bit parts, that I can be wholly who I am. When I live my life like this, absorbed in the truth, I hear the inner applause resounding.

Excerpt from A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

Published by

John Lee Books and Seminars

Bestselling author, public speaker, life coach, teacher, relationship coach, and anger management specialist.

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